*Houston Texans kneeing the ball in victory formation* Chris Collinsworth “I’ve seen Patrick Mahomes do some incredible things. This isn’t over yet. He’s amazing.”

Hey here’s a notice nobody asked for : If my hands have to touch the inside of the sink bowl or fixture to wash my hands it’s a terrible design.

Hey twitter world. Got a new Xmas hat. Just wanted to share.

8 years later realizing the 2017 Astros were actually the good guys

Joey- Cade Smith enjoyer

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I

Does anyone know what order I’m supposed to watch these in?

Bad day to be a grown woman who lusts after an attractive baseball player I’ll tell you that much

“Nobody gets eliminated from the NFL playoffs better than Patrick Mahomes. The way he looks so good losing is just incredible. It’s really something we’ve never seen before. I’d love to have his children Mike”

Cris Collinsworth after he found out Patrick Mahomes was out for the season

“Wrist discomfort, day-to-day” - Astros Training Staff

Bale was the lead in a Spielberg film at age 13

Happy holidays! And remember, Die Hard is not a Christmas movie.

X files

Trying to describe to my 94 year old grandpa that the football game is only on Netflix as if he knows what Netflix is. He’s looking at me like I just opened the gate at Area 51 for him to step inside and check it out.

Told him good news, the late game is on Amazon. He said “the rainforest?”

Will: im gay Eleven:

my 2025 recap: severance severance severance bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit pluribus pluribus

Coke dealers in Miami this morning knowing Michael Irvin is on his way back home for 1 more game.

Wife after the game. I wish I could make her make that face