Happy for the Scots up to and including the 89th minute of our group game next summer when they inevitably shithouse us 1-0 and ruin the Euro dream.

The Daily Mail? Trying to detract from the legitimate achievements of a young footballer because he also *checks notes* sensibly invests the money he earns for the benefit of his family?

Chaos amongst Newcastle fans as we try to work out whether to be happy with Mike Ashley for doing his best to get rid of Mike Ashley or angry with Mike Ashley for being Mike Ashley. 🙃

Brexit 2016: this is the dawning of a new glorious era for the UK. Brexit 2020: toast and chips for dinner again lads.

If you’re badly organised but also a genius you can use the brown paper they use to pack around your deliveries as wrapping paper. #scrunchanddone

Sets up the winning goal to take his team top of the league, walks off the pitch, straight on the blower to Boris to talk him through running the country. Absolutely unbelievable.

In this era of Mental Health awareness, who in their right mind sanctioned this to be televised on what is already the SADDEST DAY OF THE YEAR?! #BlueMonday #BruceMonday

Watching Jamie Redknapp and Micah Richards discuss this graphic and then conclude that Henry was ‘the whole package’ and Aguero is ‘a deadly finisher’ 🙃

Absolutely cannot wait to be sat in Wembley on July 11th watching Jamaal Lascelles captain us to Euros glory.

Now dock them 20 points each and let us watch Ryan Mason try and save Spurs from relegation. 👀 🍿

Football is approximately 17,000 times more entertaining with a crowd in.

Dennis Bergkamp scored less goals in more games than Yakubu and Kevin Phillips and that ‘wonder goal’ he scored against Newcastle was a fluke. Fraud.

This is the political equivalent of the scene in The Inbetweeners where Will gets everyone chucked out of the pub for being underage.

‘One of the good guys’ is the most pointlessly overused phrase in football punditry unless they also tell us who the bad guys are.

England are going to Wembley and so are we. What a time to be alive. Dean Deagle ⚽️ @raymond3579 Daniel Hill

Well we had a good run lads but honestly just cancel Sunday now if it means I have to see anything like this ever again.

Wembley Way. Sweet Caroline. Red Arrows. The tiny car. Luke bloody Shaw. Harry Maguire’s pen. Jordan Pickford’s lovely little arms. Heartbreak. Absolutely loved it. It’ll come home one day.

I’d genuinely still be over the moon with a top ten finish and a bit of a run in the FA Cup. This is going to take some getting used to.

34% of people need some serious help.

This, and the fact that everyone’s scared we’re going to win the league if we get any better.