A giant penis is taking over the nation.

Lord Beevaqueef

It’s Thursday morning and I’m organizing the spice rack. And I couldn’t be happier.

Physically sick kid needed her dad yesterday. Mentally sick audience needs their radio host today. See you at 3.

Things never said while driving.

- I was unsure of who to vote for, but your bumper sticker has changed my mind.

- That Subaru is hauling ass!

- Thank you for finding me attractive & honking at me. I will date you.

- This Man & Bone show is extremely sophisticated.

Any takers?

The new Scotts guy is nightmare fuel.

The only way to watch White Sox baseball is with eclipse glasses on.

Woman at gas station: I need paper maps!

Gas station employee: We haven’t sold paper maps in many years.

Woman: What am I gonna do after the eclipse when the phone and internet stops working?!

Please join us for the end of the civilized world today at 3pm.

Common Man & Jonathan Smith are getting ready for their big eclipse show this Monday.
How are they getting ready?
They're hanging out in a dark bathroom, of course.
Tune into Common Man & T-Bone, Monday at 3PM, for more eclipse shenanigans.
youtu.be/c-1FGGfhvWw

Me: I keep ordering these good looking shirts I see on Instagram, but then I get them, and they look nothing like the ad.

Wife: That’s because the guy wearing the shirt is good looking.

Me: 😐

GUYS. Have you seen this???????

There’s nothing like enjoying some basketball and eating microwaved tuna.

A couple Italian jabronies. ☘️

Iowa leads the world in players with punchable faces.

A friendly reminder. There will be no podcast of today’s (Thursday) show. It’s live at 3pm, then gone forever. Plan accordingly. GTH

Happy 7th Birthday to this kid! 🩷🎂
youtube.com/watch?v=QOsd6q…

Bone and I are both filled with snot & taking large amounts of medication. It's Wildcard Wednesday. I've been giggling about the idea of a beef curtain sandwich all morning. Today could be 'curtains' for us.