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Hey Joey here! STOP THE PRESSES!!! My boys Ryne and Evan || EHIZZY are live on #twitch! They like their Pokémon like you like your vampires: sparkling. Get over there! Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! Let me tell ya a little something about hard work. Sometimes when you work real hard, you can overcome your limits and reap the benefits. Other times, you run up on an Arceus-sent Rattata who reminds you no matter how hard you try, he’ll be better. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here! I know it’s pretty late for my usual call, but I wanted you to know that no matter who you are. No matter what you’re going through. No matter how bad things get....me and my Rattata will always be here to kick your ass. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here. Sometimes you just gotta take a R&R day. Ya know, just beat most of the trainers on your route instead of all of em. Then you can come back the next day and truly kick ass. Mental health first. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! The only way to get better at something is repetition. That’s why I wear the same brand of shorts everyday, use my best bud Rattata for every battle, and kick the same ass each and every time. It’s really a fail proof plan. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here! I totally almost shit my comfy shorts today. Rattata and I were sparring with Cynthia’s Garchomp when the spicy Cheri Berry Smoothie I had earlier used Revenge. Let me tell you it was super effective! We ended the battle early and I barely made it! Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! Ryne is streaming over on #twitch right now! He’s having some issues with the Discord app on his Pokegear. If there are any tech masters, I’m sure he’d appreciate it. I hit up Bill already, but the dumbass turned himself into a Pokémon again. Alright, see ya!

Hey! Look! Listen! It’s Joey here! If you ever wanted to watch a Pokémon bully a human being so badly they play an entirely different game, well have I got good news for you! Ryne is about to go live on #twitch. Help him out or laugh at his pain. Your call. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here! Just watched the trailers for #PokemonDiamondPearl and #PokemonLegendsArceus. Looks nice and all but where the hell is Pokemon Joey and the Legend of the Ass Beater Rattata? Much more thrilling tales are told there. I’ll get my agent on the issue. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here! Rattata and I went camping today. Had s’mores and I told him spooky stories. I got a little carried away and the fire got out of control. Lucky for us the Squirtle Squad arrived and put it out. Rattata is many things, but a firefighter he is not. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! People sometimes ask why I chose Rattata. Easy! It’s like why I wear Comfey Threads brand shorts. They’re both dependable, rugged, look great with anything, and have great range of motion for kicking max ass. Yeah, Rattata is pretty much the best. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey. My favorite thing about night time battles is that you can really feel the fear in the opponent’s Pokémon as they frantically search for Rattata. The idea that such a ferocious being could appear and strike from anywhere must be truly terrifying. Alright, see ya!

Hey, Joey here! I dropped a fat Drilbur on my toe today. Woulda cracked it but fortunately I was wearing my custom J’s reinforced with a steel toe made from Steelix turd. Shout out to my boy Kurt for another standout organic footwear creation. Guy can do it all. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! I hate Roggenrola. I have a collection of them that I intend to turn into gravel to level out my driveway. Everything about them, from the way they waddle, to the hole in their face, to how they never shine. Disgusting. They truly sicken me. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! Long road trips can be tedious. When I travel from Johto to Sinnoh to see my girl Cynthia, it can get boring quick. To pass the time, I’ll pick a random car and press my ass cheeks to the window as I ride by. Basically I just act like Roggenrola. Alright, see ya!

Hey Joey here! Women find nothing more attractive than a big set of truck nutz on your pickup. They find it irresistible because it easily and immediately conveys a sense of alpha-type confidence. Trust me. There’s not a woman alive who can resist the allure. Alright, see ya!

Hey it’s Joey! Why is everything so damn expensive?! Pokeblock for my homeboy - $6.75. Aviation fee for using Fly - $157 after tax. This shady sumbitch was trying to sell me a Magikarp for $500!!! Need to cut my taxes since I’m supporting the entire Pokeconomy. Alright, see ya!

Hey, Joey here! A while back I gave out a recipe for leek soup with roast Farfetch’d. Well here is the result! Perfect for a cool day or if you just need a hearty meal. I know the Farfetch’d isn’t very pretty, but that’ll happen when it’s brutalized by Rattata. Alright, see ya!

Hey, it's Joey! FINALLY! Arceus Christ what a slog. #PokemonUNITE #NintendoSwitch

Hey Youngster Joey should we tell him??? (its nice to see this nod to earlier memes in #PokemonScarletViolet