The lyrics of the Labelle song 'Lady Marmalade' contain the line 'Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir'. When the lead singer, Patti Labelle was later told what that meant she said 'Oh gosh, what will my mother think?'

Watched 'King of Lies: Football's Trillion Dollar Con' on Sky yesterday. Unbelievable. If you're a football fan it's well worth watching. And #WrexhamAFC fans - possibly there but for the grace of God. Thankfully we got the good guys and not this charlatan.

Phoned an organisation to negotiate a better deal on renewing my membership. Their advisor 'Let me see how long you've been with us. Ah you joined, as they say, when God were a lad.' Yes, I am that old and yes, I got a cheaper deal.

With radio stations blasting out Christmas songs, this one from Paul Simon is rarely, if ever, played. Obviously, I must be in a small minority because I think it's a belter. Getting ready for Christmas Day. youtu.be/DA81JjI40V0?si…

Please everyone help. I am trying to do a Christmas miracle and make someone happy. Yesterday (21/12/25) in Bullring & Grand Central we found this lost platinum wedding band. It is name and date engraved, and has more detail. I want to reunite it with its rightful owner. Retweets might help.

Had an overnight stay in hospital last Monday. Above my bed was an information board - usual stuff, name, surgeon etc. One space was for what I wanted. When asked I said 'Well, I'd like world peace but I'll settle for getting well and going home.'

Ultra-processed food as a percentage of household food purchases by country This map shows the proportion of household food purchases made up of ultra-processed foods, expressed as a percentage and compared across European countries. Ultra-processed foods are industrial

In over 40 years of driving I have never had to make an insurance claim, today I did. Suckered in by submitting my claim online but then the phone calls. One hour, repeating my DoB, the circumstances of the incident etc. etc.

My youngest son's Christmas present to me, a day trip on a canal boat. So tranquil.

Went into a taxi office lunch time. Woman came in. She sat down and tells me she is going to get a tattoo of a paw and her cat's name on her hand. I asked if it was her first tattoo (no, she has lots) and then if it hurts. 'Depends where it is' Me "That's enough information."

Meaning of 'busted flush'. Bit harsh on Chelsea.

Attended my first auction (online) today. Didn't get the lot I wanted as I set a strict limit but it was enjoyable and I learnt a lot. I'll be trying again soon.

Read the lyrics of 'Don't stand so close' by The Police. I really like the song but, blimey, I didn't know what it was about. I'm not surprised Sting no longer performs it.

Gardening can be a slow process demanding patience. I've just planted 150 snowdrops in the green and have another 100 to do. I won't see the results for a year. Hope my planting scheme works out.

After years of unsuccessfully searching for them (always seem to be sold out) I finally managed to source some 'International Kidney' seed potatoes. Hope they'll be worth the wait.