watching Brandy Hellville like Aritzia exposé when?

the audacity of people in my apartment building to cook and eat fragrant food on this, the day of my Boxed Mac and Cheese and Reallocating All My Cooking Time to Reading in the Bath

they should invent an eighth day of the week completely dedicated to watching movies with ur friends

wonka absolutely has cocaine in his magic hat

ya’ll out here acting like zendaya isn’t just serving a bootleg brooke candy

My favorite yoga pose is putting my foot in my mouth

watching Malcolm in the Middle is the cure for mental illness

my anxiety will see coyotes walking through my neighborhood and say, “your cat grew thumbs, let herself out, and is being hunted by them”

my nichest red flag is that i would date a guy that looks like Field Medic

what do we think my mother was trying to communicate by opting not to buy me the Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath for Christmas?

people over property except for when it comes to me and my Ganni jacket

you know Daniel Cleaver absolutely loves Infinite Jest

I find memes to share, so technically I’m a hunter and a gatherer.

fuck off?

you call it “stealing office supplies”. i call it “liberating pens from the oppression of the capitalist 9-5”.

I only go to confession so I can call the virgin in the other stall a nerd.

When he ghosts you but you dont have object permanence

my mental health is inversely correlated with the number of films i log on Letterboxd in a given month

first date idea i list and describe all of my friends in extreme detail

some days you’re a Scream gurlies and some days you’re just a Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed gurlie