Finally goes to summer camp. Auschwitz.

Swims for first time in ocean, Has a nosebleed and gets eaten by a shark.

Looks for a fuck to give. Finds one.

Girlfriend wants to do anal. All you can eat taco night.

Finally wins an award, Kanye's there.

Breaks up with girlfriend. Adele.

Girlfriend gets pregnant. He's still a virgin.

Fortune cookie says, "You will live a long life". Gets food poisoning from the cookie and dies.

Says "Abracadabra". He disappears.

Goes to a buffet, Rick Ross is there.

Says "You're the bomb!" to cool guy. Arab.

Gets braces off. Teeth falls out.

Works up courage to ask out the girl of his dreams. Girl doesn't hear him.

Opens zipper to pee. Cuts his penis off.

Loses virginity, gets it back.

I hate when people say "I have to tell you something" or "I need to talk to you". It instantly makes me panic & think something bad happened

Tries to break awkward silence.. Makes it even more awkward.

Gets elected class president, assassinated

first kiss, gets mono

Gets a pet rock, it runs away