'Surprisingly, Robin, nobody likes your plan to steal from pensioners to give to train drivers' My latest cartoon for tomorrow's The Telegraph Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com

Let's do a hypothetical. 1. The UK didn't leave the EU 2. The EU heeds the warnings in the report and expands its spending by €800 Billion a year The UK was responsible for 12.6% of the EU budget. So €100 Billion a year. Extra. #ThanksBrexit theguardian.com/world/article/…

My Doctor says that I have developed ‘German sausage phobia’. I fear the wurst...

Rate of UK unemployment falls to 4.1%, down from 4.2% in the previous three months. Sterling rises against dollar. Growth in pay outpaces inflation. As Starmer and Reeves never stop telling us, it really is the most appalling economic inheritance ever.

Paging Reform UK

That is nonsense both politically and arithmetically.

Jokes about sugar? Rare. Jokes about brown sugar? Demerara. ..

It seems an appropriate moment to repeat what I said before (inspired by ancient writers): A democratic vote swayed by lies is not democracy.

Sentence 1 is correct. Sentence 2 is nonsense arithmetically for most pensioners and also Labour did not put pensions up last April! Sentence 3 also nonsense as it won’t happen. DWP’s own forecast would mean 112,000 more would get it and over 700,000 still would not.

For those who’ve followed me for a while on here will know we are incredibly lucky to share our life with a beautiful rescue dog, Lara*. Today, courtesy of my step-brother, Lara has found celebrity status in Daily Star posing on the beach. *The Littlest Hobo reincarnated 😳

I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki. I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair...

Gosh, who could have foreseen this consequence… 🙄

Today’s scanniversary is Smile Together Day dental practice in Bodmin. Commissioned by the Cornwall branch of National Autistic Society to make healthcare more accessible and encourage earlier access to dental healthcare/ treatment. Many people suffer with anxiety and potentially debilitating

There’s a stranger out there who still thinks of you because you were kind to them when they really needed it. Don’t stop being that person.

Does that mean it didn’t bother to make sure it was accurate when officials gave it to the Chancellor who used the ‘not checked for accuracy’ figure as the excuse to take winter fuel payment from almost 10m pensioners.

Business hive mind. Looking for recommendations for good invoice factoring companies for an SME with many annually repeating/ issued invoices. Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) CBI

Sad to see Chingford suffering an existential crisis.

1.Tesco drops solid lid for thin disposable lid. 2.Tesco claims eco credentials by reducing its plastic use. 3.Consumer uses more plastic/ encounters food waste as a consequence. 4. No environmental benefits + added cost & waste A perfect analogy for Millibands energy policies.

The Power of Apprehension ocean3d.co.uk/the-power-of-a…

Some rather exciting news for Ocean3D.co.uk We’ve just been advised that the Matterport scanner, iPad, hard carry case and tripod set we sent out on Wednesday has been successfully delivered to our first franchisee. More news to follow soon but if you’re based in