It's me, Garles Choonan, from the cheighborhood

You never heard Bing Crosby choon this hard

I croon so much they oughta call me Garles Croonin, just kidding, we in the biz call that a gag
#jokes #funny #Croonin ' #geniusatwork

You're going to listen to me croon and you'll be fucking pleased about it #Croonin ' #Choonan

Why dontcha Choon In To Choonan and watch me stain my petticoat

dont hate on me because i dont take showers
i dont even get paid by the hour
new york new york is a hell of a town

Since you've been such a wonderful crowd, I'd like to sing a song for you about murdering my father

Bing Crosby baby Bing Crosby

Studios claim to love diversity but won't hire me, a guy who moonlights as a gay Chinaman

How's everyone doing tonight? I'd like now to perform a song I wrote about getting an infection from a prostitute

Teaching the art of performance to a bunch of BASTARDS

Biiiiiiiiiiing Crosby

She recoils at my touch
#brooklyn #cats #cursedbygod

Say Gerry, how's about I take you upstairs and give you something to complain to Human Resources about?

It's me, Garles Choonan, from the cheighborhood

I'll be singing the complete Cole Porter songbook in Prospect Park this Friday if anyone wants to come punch me in the liver

Bing Crosby