vanessa (@castiela) 's Twitter Profile
vanessa

@castiela

π–π–Šπ–— π–˜π–π–Žπ–“ π–‹π–Šπ–Šπ–‘π–˜ π–šπ–“π–π–”π–‘π–ž, π–‡π–šπ–™ 𝕴'𝖒 π–˜π–™π–Žπ–‘π–‘ π–‰π–—π–†π–œπ–“

ID: 100334279

calendar_today29-12-2009 22:16:51

41,41K Tweet

1,1K Followers

893 Following

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giving somebody another knife while the previous knife you gave them is still stuck in your back and almost killed you is dumb as fuck, but, god, I am dumb as fuuuucck and I handed that knife over with a smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach πŸ™‚

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I fucking hope I don't have to go back to my previous tweet one day and be like 'you dumb fucking bitch, I told you so', I hope future-me is a happy, dumb bitch. she fucking deserves it so much

vanessa (@castiela) 's Twitter Profile Photo

one day, everybody is going to leave. either by choice or by death and loving somebody is gonna end in tragedy, either way and I never realised the extent of it and it's so scary, nothing is forever

vanessa (@castiela) 's Twitter Profile Photo

today I finally went into my favourite garden center again, which was always off the table because it's in his town. I felt super humbled how big the tomato plants were that they had there, because mine are super scrawny. so all I bought for now is fertilizer & hope for the best

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I just realised that my mom lives there, too, and lowkey meeting my mother would have been even worse than meeting his mother, haha, but luckily I saw nobody

vanessa (@castiela) 's Twitter Profile Photo

one thing is for certain in this life and that is that absolutely nothing is for certain, except death. so I might as well live and enjoy things while they last. I learned that the hard way.

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I've been so miserable for 4 months and then I think him coming back is going to fix it, but it made me miserable in a different way, because the leaving itself was what made it so bad and I hope one day I'll get over it, but what if I don't??

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and I can't tell him? I can't tell him 'you fucked me up mentally so badly that I obsess over you and want to be with you every fucking minute' when what he wants is more time for himself? I want to end it all so badly, this is so fucked up

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am I seriously hoping for somebody to save me who left me for dead for four fucking months? I think I've dug this grave all by myself