Right. That idiot.

His name is Candy, and candy is supposed to be sweet but he’s not. And he’s a pussy. So, sourpuss.

He was hoping to surprise her but whatever, fuck all, he guesses! x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

She underestimated his intelligence too often.

Why the fuck not!? Would it be so bad? x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

More like uses his intelligence when it benefits her.

Help him understand this frivolous hatred for a day so wonderful. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

What? Top of her class didn’t learn how to talk her way out of things?

No. But it’d be nice to understand. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

Sorry, it’s in his nature or whatever bullshit.

Nope. Just stating the facts.

With that mentality, nobody will, that’s for certain. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

/She’s/ the one being absurd!

No. It never even occurred to him something like that would happen to her. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

What else is he supposed to be the king of, then?

It means what it means. No ulterior meanings; she thinks too much. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

She doesn’t have to do anything for anyone else! She’s much too selfless. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

Then there’s nothing for him to be king of.

She doesn’t /have/ to be anything. Christ, she’s even worser of a goody-two-shoes than he thought. x.com/ofthenaive/sta…

Good. And as one of his loyal subjects, he expects she’ll let him take her out someplace nice on Valentine’s Day.