i’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it badly enough that it’s not funny anymore

current situation- 23 with zit cream on my face, watching series at my parent’s house.

It’s only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region in France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling isolation.

Ek mis jou #HarryPotter johann_truter

My fok maar jy is een aantreklike mens! @spinna15

@spinna15 jy flatter my.

@spinna15 eks in Jhb, yo :)

If a female posts that basic ass picture of her legs in the bath, she's a hoe. This is science.

The only nation I will ever own is procrastination.

I have to be funny because hot is not an option.

Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote I do not understand the correlation

Only two things are certain in this life: death and if you fall asleep in a tank top when you wake up one of your tiddies will be out.

Everything I like is either expensive, fattening or won't text me back.

'Live show' is just another way of saying 'beer and music pairing'.

Why the fuck would I want to make friends, if I can make sandwiches instead.

Are you Nemo? Cause you should get lost.

It's amazing how often I think the "shoulda worn longer thicker socks" thought without ever learning.

Can I sell my responsibilities and adulthood on Gumtree? I don't want it anymore.