30 handed strolling through Stanley Park. No escort. Pit stop at Cemetery for gear and a spliff. Waiting for Everton mob to turn up. No sign of them anywhere. Evasive. Elusive. Gave us their word. Having to resist urge to punch shirters walking past. Fist clenched in pocket. CM

Tested positive this morning. Thought was a gruesome hangover. Out in Leeds last night. Took divorced Yorkshire lass back to hotel from Pryzm. Still going to the game. Got Reg to send me a fake NHS Negative Lateral Flow Test text. Not missing this game for the world. CM

Have that. Can’t stand those 6 fingered webbed feet bastards. Incestuous idiots. Interbred imbeciles. Gesticulating to the home crowd. Luckily for them stewards between us. They look on the verge of tears. Night out in Diss later with the bods to celebrate. Arsenal are BACK! CM

On the beer & gear with the Mansfield Shady Express firm. Top boys. Had my back in Italia 90 when things got on top. Kept in touch ever since. Reminiscing. Recollecting. Swapping stories. Managed to bag a ticket for the Forest game tomorrow. Expecting trouble. CM

Severely hungover. Been throwing up all morning. Sick. Chundering. Vomiting. Spewing. Del one of the main Mansfield bods came into the annex with a pint of water, 2 paracetamol, 2 ibuprofen & a line👌. Should sort me out. Shit. Shower. Shave. Then off to Nottingham. CM

WTF is going on. Unacceptable. Disgraceful. Contemptible. Scandalous. Degrading. Out the FA Cup for the 2nd time in 26 years. Forest again. I will NEVER visit Nottingham again. Gobby fans are lucky there’s stewards separating us. Just wait until we get out the ground. LIVID. CM

At Toddington services on the M1. En route back to Barnet. Pit stop. Burger King. Phone keeps going off. Vibrating. Bewildered. Befuddled. Perplexed. Angry Forest fans constantly tweeting me. Obsessed. Jealous. Don't tempt me to get my driver to drive back up North. Warned😉. CM

You’re lucky I’ve calmed down a bit in my old age. Wouldn’t have wanted me to act how I did post match in 2018 would you now 😉. All you Forest fans are fortuitous I’m on my medication. Now BACK OFF. CM

Kicked off train by British Transport Police at Runcorn station. Ticket Inspector grassed me in. Excessive chanting. Intimidating passengers. Binge drinking. Drug paraphernalia left in toilets. Luckily snorted it all before police arrived at scene. Uber booked to Liverpool. CM

The best away end I've been in for many a year. Atmosphere was electric. 5,000 impassioned gooners singing their hearts out. What a club. MY club. Bring on the second leg. Shame about work tomorrow. 9am start. Hopefully won't be too hungover. Luckily only a four hour shift. CM

Game OFF on Sunday. Will be announced soon. Can’t reveal my source but he’s one of the masseuses at the club. Grew up together. Drifted apart but kept in touch. Trustworthy. Principled. Would never lie to me. CM

Lumped my bi-weekly wages on Arsenal to win @ 4/6. £465 returns £775. Banker. Certainty. Beyond doubt. Need extra money to cover rent, council tax, wi-fi and water bill. Listening on radio as internet cut off. COME ON ARSENAL! CM

Incensed. Enraged. Irritating. Infuriating. One of the most pathetic performances of the season. Cost me my wages. Going to have to work overtime next week now. I Fucking HATE this football club sometimes. Gets me so depressed. CM

Just landed in Warsaw. Heading to the train station to make my journey onwards to Kyiv. Forged strong bonds with Dynamo Ultras after Arsenal played them in 2008. Borysko head of the Ultras invited me. Border guards have been told to wave me through. The least I can do to help. CM

Spent the last two months on the frontline in Kyiv. Doing my bit for the Ukraine resistance. Pushing back Russian advance. Forgot about the game so Oleksiy the battalion commander escorted me to the airport. We shook hands. Vice like grips. He understood I can’t miss this one. CM

Exited the stadium. Threw the rest of my pint at the bar woman before leaving. An incandescent rage has swept me. Smoking a roll up before releasing myself onto the High Road. Getting PTSD flashbacks from Ukraine. Attacking anyone that comes before me. Shirters. Kids. Anyone. CM

Furious. Enraged. Tempestuous. Tumultuous. Pulled my hamstring going up the stairs to away end. 5 bods carried me rest of the way up. Slapped a steward and threw a scolding hot Bovril over the home fans. Ran to toilet and threw jumper in bin. Unrecognisable. FEEL LIKE CRYING. CM

Will be launching a full scale attack on Alan Shearer’s bar post match. Don’t care if I go to prison for a VERY long time after tonight. Arteta you have RUINED my fucking year. If I see antanddec I will put the pair of them in a headlock at the same time. I am SEETHING. CM