People mostly walk on twos, but their spirit has its own way of moving. Watch them and you'll see.
There are those who flutter, float, and dance across the world, those who #crawl on their bellies, who slink and slither.
How do you want your soul to traverse the earth?
#vss365

Or alternatively, read WHILE eating your instant ramen and cold pizza. I certainly won't judge.

Every story and poem in this issue is amazing and hilarious (including my own story, 'Out of This World,' if I do say so myself).

I'm awake, so it's time to announce that the April 2024 issue of Defenestration is live! Twelve funny writers of #fiction and #poetry would very much like you to read their stuff: bit.ly/3xHaca5 #DefenestrationMagazine

Go read my story, 'Out of This World,' which was published today in Defenestration Magazine (Defenestration Magazine)!

While you're at it, check out the rest of this issue, which I'm currently having an amazing time reading through. So many flavors of smart and funny!

defenestrationmag.net/2024/04/out-of…

'What are your hobbies?'
'I like to #manipulate people's feelings. Good practice for my professional life.'
'You're not very good at it if you just told me'
'Testing my abilities. I want to see how upfront I can be about being a jerk and get you to forget it.'
#vss365

'You're a cardiologist. Does every heart have a lock?'
'No, only some. It's something that assembles itself over time, under specific circumstances. The key takes even longer.'
'I'm a lock smith.'
'Then we're a match made in heaven.'
#vss365

New issue of Defenestration tomorrow!

Super proud that my story, 'Out of This World,' will be in the April 2024 issue of Defenestration Magazine!

It goes live tomorrow 👽🛸🪐✨

The table of contents for the April 2024 issue is here: bit.ly/3xvGjcM

New issue goes live on April 20th!

The #saga of the suburban moms has no end in sight.
They've divided themselves into feudal tribes - bake sale moms, soccer moms, dance moms, wine moms - sanctioning off vast sections of the suburb.
All this over a dispute related to the annual after school fundraiser.
#vss365

#Greed is waiting, sort of huddled in the corner of my office.
He advises me every day.
'Keep your subjects wanting, but don't let them know it's you. When you give them scraps, they'll commend your charitable spirit.'
'Genius.'
'Yes. I'll make you an excellent king.'
#vss365

The year is 2019, and the zodiacs get together for their annual New Year's Eve party.
'Your year's coming up, Rat,' says Ox.
'Good thing, too!' says the #rat . 'I need some good publicity.'
When 2020 comes to an end, the rat sighs, 'Well that didn't work out too well.'
#vss365

'Welcome back to #Brush With Death! I'm your host, the Grim Reaper, and today I'm going to show you how to paint a beautiful cemetery scene.'
He uses his scythe as a scraper, applying paint to his canvas.
'Don't try this at home. Don't want to meet any of you too early!'
#vss365

The little girl in the red hood, in the woods alone.
The howling of the wolf.
The #chop of an axe.
A beast, and a man.
Who's to say which of the two is more dangerous, which could be a protector, and which is foe?
#vss365

loving the hype for issue 3. she releases in exactly one month. the world isn’t ready.

One of my stories is going to be in the upcoming issue of this incredible magazine!

Underscore_magazine captures the rich and multifaceted spirit of city life.

My story, 'City of the Dead,' is about spirits too - you'll have to wait till it comes out to find out more than that!

📣 ANNOUNCING OUR ISSUE 3 CONTRIBUTORS 📣

Watching the ballerina, I feel something indescribable.
Art is when we cease to simply be made of meat - that's just our medium, like marble, that becomes #fluid as we move.
Through art, we become more than what we are. Self-elevation, a multi-tiered form of creation.
#vss365

There's a monster under my bed, but I can't #muster the energy to do anything.
It snarls and trills, and eventually I snap, 'Shut the hell up, dude, it's finals week. Why are you here, anyway?'
The monster hesitates. 'Administrative messup. They thought you were five.'

#vss365

How you put yourself back together matters.
The #glue you used decades ago starts failing, and your pieces keep clinking to the floor.
You struggle to fit the puzzle pieces back together.
'It's not too late to use gold,' someone tells you. 'It just means starting over.'
#vss365