gentle reminder:

precisely.

remember this

Pros to living in an apartment that doesn’t look like an apartment: no one knows you live there. Cons: even delivery drivers can’t find it so they drop your packages off at the closest neighbor they feel like

the tragedy of life is not death, but what dies inside of us while we live.

do you blast “all too well” in the parking lot waiting to walk into work or are you mentally stable

I’ve never met someone as terrible at answering the phone as Erin is. Adding her to my “do not call” emergency contact list.

Happy Father’s Day angel 💙

I wonder what Alex would do if I came home with baby chickens today

Alex: I don’t want a cat. Also Alex:

I don’t know who Jordan thinks I am but she just put glitter on all 10 of my fucking fingers

My nephew just told me I look like a stinky non matching shoe

🌚🌝

I have recently developed an unhealthy obsession with BB Easton and I don’t even think i’m embarrassed about it

Ever since me and Alex moved in together I don’t think I ever wear my own clothes when I’m at home.

When you got nothing left, you got nothing left to lose.

Gonna need a beer...or 24 tonight.