Brando (@brandosmash) 's Twitter Profile
Brando

@brandosmash

I play a lot of video games, enjoy a nice iced coffee with a shot of espresso, I like running, and speak in movie quotes 80% of the time.

ID: 331751995

calendar_today08-07-2011 17:24:46

7,7K Tweet

456 Followers

446 Following

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The modern day equivalent of “writing an angry letter and throwing it out” is me typing out an extremely bitchy tweet and slowly backspacing the entire thing.

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Day 891 on double standard island: my fiancé has left these two (2) styrofoam boxes in this exact spot for one month. If the roles were reversed I would be dead by now. Like dead dead, Johnny Depp Secret Window Dead. I refuse to throw them out now due to principle.

Day 891 on double standard island: my fiancé has left these two (2) styrofoam boxes in this exact spot for one month. If the roles were reversed I would be dead by now. Like dead dead, Johnny Depp Secret Window Dead. I refuse to throw them out now due to principle.
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My cousin’s husband has been bonkers on Instagram lately with lengthy posts about conspiracy, censorship, and miscommunication. I could care less about the posts, but the real kicker are the numerous spelling and grammatical errors that are sending me over the edge.

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As an update (23 days later): Shan is still ok living with this styrofoam monstrosity in our apt. I won’t throw it out, I just won’t. I’ve come to far to fall victim to her tactics. I’m probably going to decorate it soon.

As an update (23 days later): 

Shan is still ok living with this styrofoam monstrosity in our apt. I won’t throw it out, I just won’t. I’ve come to far to fall victim to her tactics. I’m probably going to decorate it soon.
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The most exhilarating feeling I’ve had today is when I almost misspelled my e-mail signature “best”. Missed the “s” and almost hit the whole company with a - Bet, Brandon

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Day 925 where I am a ghost in my own home: Came home from my haircut ninety (90) minutes ago and not one compliment. When she gets her hair done, if I do not provide feedback within seconds I am shot on sight. I truly am ~alone

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Came across financial advice tik tok this morning and I’ve never been this sick watching some of the stuff being recommended.

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Day 1041 with my lovely fiancé: Sitting in a ShopRite parking lot listening to One Direction at 8:52 AM EST waiting to pick up food for my fiancé’s bridal shower.

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Living above a Dunkin’ Donuts is incredibly jarring. Every day I have an internal battle: “Brandon just make coffee you don’t need to order a coffee everyday” “You don’t need it” “If you do this everyday you’ll spend X amount of dollars per year”

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Day 1102 w/ the lady: One week out from our wedding activities. Stress levels are at defcon 5 Having a wedding is like throwing an absolute banger high school party hoping everything goes right and the cops don’t get called except you are spending an exorbitant amount of money