I bought a new audiobook for my bedtime story. It’s meant to be a soothing and relaxing experience… but the narrator keeps putting the emPHAsis in the wrong. Place. It is SO DISTRACTING and not relaxing at all. 😭😫

Almost dragged him back to Hogwarts😂

I just caught myself as I was about to throw a toy for the *Roomba* to chase, how’s your Friday going?

A fantastic opportunity for emerging #LoveOzKidlit artists! Check it out 👏

Yet another fake agency: Vanderbilt Literary Agency. Content & book covers plagiarized from a real agency (attention Frances Goldin Literary Agency ), AI-fake photos of supposed agents, & a website just 21 days old #WriterBeware #WritingCommunity vanderbiltliteraryagency.com

If possible, I recommend dropping an entire punnet of fresh raspberries on the floor at the 30 second warning before an online assessment. 😬

OMG, computer. Just… open my files. That would be a start. Just, open them. Without going “bong” or spending an age thinking about it. 😫

I am enjoying the chap on my local community page who is bringing a splash of creativity to his bartering posts. So far he has swapped a hedge trimmer for a meat tray, a pressure washer for a fruit tray, and now he is asking for “nice shampoo” in exchange for a Christmas tree. 🤣

Melbourne. I am in you. ❤️

Get yourself a roomie who will brave the crowds for croissant ❤️ Thanks Rochelle!!! #AALatMIFF24

My neighbour has been “moving out” for about 4 weeks. I have never seen anyone take so long to move so much stuff out. It’s only a two-bedroom apartment. Who is she, Mary Poppins? (She is definitely NOT Mary Poppins, unless Mary has fallen on hard times.)

Who chose the font for Prime’s TV Menu? I just want to talk.

Mum: You signed 950 copies?! Me: Yes! Mum: Are they all for friends? Me: Mum, I don't know 950 people?! Mum: They paid with money?! Me: Why are you surprised?! Mum: Aww. That's very sweet of them. Me: Mum! It's a real book I'm not jus- Mum: I hope you said thanks? 😠

Say what you like about St Martin’s Press; in a time when marketing publicity budgets are often virtually non-existent, they both spent money and got publicity. 😳

Watching so much British crime tv has really left me unprepared for how many gun fights and high powered weapons there are in *US* crime shows. (And yes, I realise the ACTUAL REAL LIFE NEWS is even worse.)