Am I the only person who refuses to drive a KIA with the sole reason being that it makes me think of “killed in action”?

They Cloned Tyrone is an absolutely hysterical movie. My favorite part was the two white dudes talking about cooking:

“No salt or pepper or anything?”

“Nope. Just let the natural flavor of the chicken come through.”

My lovely wife and I are now the proud parents of not one but two university graduates. Both STEM.

They got her brain. I suck at science.

Did the Danger Yam not realize that the internet would find the receipts that he NEVER attended a high school graduation for any of his kids?

Trump: Hey sorry I can’t make it to your graduation, Braydon.

Barron: My name is “Barron.”

Trump: Barron? You’re the one I had with Melanie, right?

Barron, to himself: I’m so glad my real dad is the tennis pro.

If Trump is convicted, America will incur the wrath of Meal Team 6, Gravy Seals, and the Waffle-SS. It will be the shortest civil war in history.

I expect the #TrumpTrial will show him guilty way beyond a reasonable doubt, and that it will also end in a hung jury.

Dog breath can’t melt steel beams.

Lucy: Challenge accepted.

It has been 69 days since I last drank alcohol.

Is queef a portmanteau of queen fart?

My Miata has a peanut allergy.

Mike Tyson: Convicted rapist.

Jake Paul: Annoying internet douche.

Everyone: lol wouldn’t it be hilarious if Jake died in the ring?

Post your five favorite writers.

John Varley
Steven Brust, pjf
Roger Zelazny
David Eddings
Stephen King

Regarding the latest news.

There is stupid, and then there is this. Happy eclipse-apocalypse day. May all the evangelicals have their rapture fantasies come true.

We’ve been trying to reach you about your home’s extended earthquake warranty.

Since #selfpublishing is trending. I self-published ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY SH!T WENT DOWN in 2021 and it sold over 50,000 copies, landing me a deal with Random House Group. The new and significantly improved version is available in stores or via JamesFell.com/books.