Fuck Capitalism Go Crabs!

If you think we are insufferable now, just wait until we win the Championship!

so long gay blaseball

imagine if Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian was a crab. Ha ha! The Mandalorian would be like "im The Mandalorian" and craby yoda could be like "wabba weeba, claws up!". This is content.

thank you BLASEBALL COMMISSIONER ALTERNATE 🙏

Don't think of it as the end of something great. Think of it as the beginning of something much worse

THE BALTIMORE CRABS WILL LIVE FOREVER

There are many things I miss about Blaseball. The Blases. The Balls. I do not however miss the Crabs sucking ass and losing

"when will Blaseball come back? when will Blaseball come backl? 🥺" do you know how needy you sound? lmao. But seriously though when will Blaseball come back? 🥺🥺

The Blaseball devs keep updating me on what's going on with development. it's quite regular, like once a week. this makes me very suspicious: Why haven't they gone silent for 8 months then posted a big apology like all the other projects I support?

The Friday Blaseball development updates would be more interesting if they picked a player to die off-screen each week. Patch Notes: Added [redacted] weather and Jessica Telephone died, sorry!

wait what

Imagine if Miguel O'Hara from Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse was a crab. Ha ha! Miles Morales would be like "im Miles Morales" and Mi-shell O'Clawra could be like "wabba weeba, claws up!". This was content.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Beloved players incinerated in the outfield. I watched a fox bat so hard it killed the sun. All those moments will be lost in time... like uncached updates in rain. Time for Crab

It's over. Avoid the discourse beloved