The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.
Wait I love carrying a single wine bottle and a pizza box down to the recycling bin. Like yeahhhh I had kind of a perfect evening with my best friend sorryyyy
I had to stop watching Phineas and Ferb as a kid bc I rly wanted Candace to catch them and finally be vindicated and she’d get SO close every time that it was starting to drive me insane. I was 8 yrs old muttering stuff like “they can’t keep getting away with it…”
guys the epidemic of meeting someone one time and then following each other on instagram has got to stop. i can’t keep living like this I DONT KNOW YOU