Thanks to snapchat and spotify, I discovered that smooth jazz and bacon sizzling sound really good together.

I'm beginning to believe that Hell is not actually a fiery pit, but is actually winter in Minnesota.

Who the fuck jogs at 2:15 am?????

Winona is the best during summer time cause you get to fuck shit up on campus and hang out with you're friends

I decided to sub out my daily coffee for a giant glass of water #stilldrunk #classin30minutes

Enjoying some time at the #CakeEaterBall2k15. Thanks to the The Legendary Tavern for hosting it tonight!

Are you consider white trash if you eat two hot pockets in 15 minutes. @sabrinaaa89 #judging

Today's the worst day of the year. Tax Day, Abraham Lincoln was shot, Titanic sank, the Boston Marathon was bombed, & @KidKusie was born.

They gave me candy for being most athletic...

To all of those who helped me last night I would like to apologize for all the trouble I put you through and you're the best

@ChandlerKadlec 🐃💩

@KidKusie Brennan Trimble 21st birthday, stood up on my own to pee #blessedImnotJon

#burntMacnCheese

#GetCarlClothes

Check out WordBubbles on t.apprope.com/wb! A fun and free word game! t.apprope.com/wb

All the lacrosse bar bathrooms smell like mint, and have puke in them. Coincidence? I think not.

@KidKusie Brennan Trimble PzDeals Brennan, I think you need this. goo.gl/images/EkxPJB

Just took my first paid poop as a working adult. #LivingTheAmericanDream