I can rip a phonebook in half. I brag about that constantly, but I never have to prove it. #myfirstTweet

Doing some jokes at Comedy Works.

Calvin looking sharp. #dachshund #dogsoftwitter

They didn’t understand my joke. #dachshund #DogsofTwittter

The first day of summer vacation. Thanks to a high deductible, I got to pay for this myself. #summerbreak

I heard that golf pants are like yoga pants for men so I just bought a pair. Bring on the comfort.