Just about recovering from a weekend that dreams are made off. Top day out in Malibu at Paradise Cove Beach cafe then Sunday spent at Charlie Parish amazing new house where he threw the best party. Still can’t get over how good the burgers were. Thanks again chief for a great day.

Such a good lad that many of you will know. Please share

Anyone LA based who would like to swap their Saturday Oasis tickets for the Sunday please let me know as due to a cock up I have two that I desperately need to swap. Or if you have any for sale for the Saturday then that’ll be great too. #OasisLive25 #therosebowl

As the saying goes you can’t polish a turd you can only sprinkle it with glitter. That’s what United have done with these Shiny new forwards but ignoring the fact we have 10 other dummies still polluting the squad.

Amorim has made us even worse if that’s possible. 40 games in and we’ve been horrific. Go to 4 at the back tonight and things improve straight away. He’s going to die on this system. Bring in Palaces manager before the season is over by start of September

2 spare tickets for Oasis at the Rose Bowl for the Sunday if anyone from LA is interested. #oasis #OasisTickets

Imagine being born and having a great upbringing, parents proud of their little soldier or princess, aunties squeeze your cheeks when they see you because you’re a lovely kid and then when you’re all grown up you actually pay to watch a Coldplay gig.

Is there anything worse than people setting up go fund me pages? Oh no, my hamster died please send money to help pay for her burial. Do one you scaving horrific bastards.

One disadvantage of living in LA is I have an entire day to suffer and be depressed over that shit cunt of a football team I support. We are cursed. Even the new boys look absolute pony now too,

I can’t cope with heartburn following my football team, let alone these Tossers.

Too old for these 4.30am pub sessions watching United scrape a draw. 12.40pm and I’m done for the day 😂

A lot of sad men on social media getting their knickers in a twist about a few football tickets. Hope you enjoyed the game Luke Littler 🇾🇪

RIP Lorraine Cheshire. One of the best characters on Early Doors. #doyoulikecircuses

Something I’ve been guilty of this 😂😂

Can’t wait until we win 5 in a row under Fletch, our fan base creaming their keks like they did with Ole demanding he gets the job permanently then we turn to utter shit. And let’s see how the fans golden boy, Mainoo does, seeing as he’s the next Xavi and all that. Joke of a club

What the bleeding hell is this abortion? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 we are so broken

I give up following sport. Depresses me.

How the fuck have I got to the stage where I’m wearing a coat when the temperature is 21 degrees and I’m texting my maud to get the heating on for when I get back home? LA life that. Beer garden weather back in blighty that.