Father Time snapped awake on March ten
'Those dang humans have meddled again!'
As if their fool plans
To move two #chrono hands
Could defeat nature's reign over men.

#vss365
#limerick

One day I walked past her
My pulse beat faster
I was headed for disaster.
'What's your name, besides my heart's master?'
She laughed. 'Call me Sal. I'm Sally McMaster.'
I brought her an #aster .
'Marry me?' I asked her.
We met with a pastor
Now we're happy ever after.
#vss365

Little John wore a massive prosthetic
Though its function was purely cosmetic
With a blade one foot long
Sue cut off his real dong
Proving justice, sometimes, is #poetic .

#vss365
#limerick

He was that friend who could always make her giggle. She, the nurse who showed up to his spinal tap on Halloween in a taco suit.

He, the one who made her cry when he died way too young. She, the new mom who gave our son #rebirth when she named her baby Jeffrey.

Truth.
#vss365

One day at Dragon School:

D1: Did you hear about the new kid that just transferred in?
D2: Do tell.
D1: He was in my gym class. The guy's a real fire-breather. Set the volleyball net on fire!
D2: (Chuckle) Another #dragon with anger issues?
D1: No. Halitosis.

(sorry)
#vss365

Hick'ry dick'ry dock
My stomach growls like #clockwork
Don't miss feeding time.

(True story)

#vss365
#haiku

How carefully staged
I randomly pass his desk -
#serendipty !

#vss365
#haiku

Before getting married there should be a basic test, things like buying a sofa together, assembling a dresser, filling and emptying a dishwasher.

Not sure how you feel?

Flip a #coin .

In the split second between toss and landing, you will have your answer.

#vss365

Once upon every time my dear dad, never an unkind word from the man's mouth, heard something extremely unpleasant, he'd set his handsome smile, push his annoyance deep down Gullet Road to Repression City, and simply reply to the newsbringer, 'Marvelous.'

#vss365
#marvellous

The comedic genius of Billy Crystal summed up in three words:
'You look mahhhvelous.'

#vss365
#marvelous

Lord help me- I'm doing it again!🙃
Join me and writers worldwide in the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction Challenge on May 31! Learn more at nycmidnight.com/ffc

A golfer named Sal hit an out-of-bounds tree
Then immediately holed his next ball off the tee.
'Hole in one!' shouted Sal.
'Not so fast,' said his pal,
' #deal with it, Sally. You just got a three.'

#vss365 #limerick #golf

Wow- ninja-level trolling 👏👏👏

If our eyes are the window to the soul, our words and actions are its #mirror .

#vss365

Mama whispers at tuck-in about the Before Times when girls could say no and boys could love who they loved. Papa's shadow closes Mama's mouth like a string, but he has already heard too much of her 'dangerous #folklore .' She scurries out so we won't hear but we always do.
#vss365

Visiting Los Angeles? First time or return traveler, take this guide with you! See Sparkly Lifestyle seesparklylifestyle.com/40/post/2024/0…

Turbo hotrods 🏎️🏎️ caught
Behind turtle family 🐢🐢🐢
#crawl at a snail's pace 🐌

#vss365
#haiku

I was pushing my red-headed daughter in her stroller at the mall one day when a man crouched down to her level and said, 'Boy, I wish I could have that pretty red hair!'

Much to his - and my - surprise, she ripped out a #lock of hair and handed it to him.

True story.
#vss365