Happy Birthday to you, Squashed tomatoes and stew You do not have to say anything But it may harm your defence if you do not mention, when questioned, something which you later rely on in court and anything you do say may be given in evidence against yoooooou.

Took my (frigid) wife to see Wuthering Heights tonight. Car ride to the theater she put on the Hamilton soundtrack and scrolled through Pinterest the entire time ignoring me. I think I chipped a tooth from clenching my teeth. Walk into the theater lobby and it’s a sea of

Happy death day to the sublime Spike Milligan, who “told you he was ill” on this day in 2002, and then conked out, the bastard. In commemoration, here he is surprising his old friend, the equally sublime Eric Sykes, at some point in the dim and distant past, AKA 1992, with an

EXCL: Zack Polanski overheard on a train shouting loudly into his phone, “Hannah Spencer. No Surrender. A four-day week and a 3-day bender!”

“We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you.... Now, watch this drive.” — George W. Bush, 2002.

It's 6 a.m, you wake up to the sound of the rain without worrying about school or work because you're in a mental hospital

"can you hop on a quick call?" can you hop off a quick bridge

Another cracker from They Think It's All Over. Sam Torrance desperately trying to not tell a story about his mate filming porn on a hotel TV, that he tells another story instead. Only for Jonathan Ross to tell it instead. Sam's face throughout is amazing.

Arnold Schwarzenegger doing Bone Thugs-N-Harmony's "Crossroads" is exactly what I needed to begin my weekend

I hear people talking about their plans when they finally retire, and I'm over here thinking i'm going to have to work till lunch on the day of my funeral and probably help dig the fucking hole.

Aussie chippy content is cinema

White guys imitating Indians making street food. Thoughts?

💀💀💀💀💀

Thanks for ending the meeting 4 minutes early and “giving me some time back.” Now I can finally pursue my passions

Keith Starmer addresses The Nation

I love when people fall out laughing. I love how much we can’t control ourselves in this moment. It’s one of my favorite feelings. Re-telling this story would not do it justice. This is really a "You had to be there" moment. Lol

“Sorry Commissioner you have a tissue stuck on your forehead” This man is going through the most🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ #MadlangaCommission

York City have 107 points at the top of the National League. Rochdale are 2nd and were on course to have 103 with 1 game left to play until this 99th minute winner away at Braintree. It now goes down to the last day, with Rochdale at home to York. 😳🤯