These images will haunt me.

Bullshit. This was Kristi Noem’s dog? She definitely killed herself.

I feel like Newt Gingrich has literally shot the word “literally” in the face and murdered its family as part of a literal satanic ritual and that he will now literally slumber for 1,000 years.

Crazy that I’m already thinking “it was a more innocent time” about 2019.

My 12 year old has spent her evening converting an AI version of Peeta Mellark to Christianity. This will be what turns the tide in the coming robot wars.

Just wait until the Senatorial Hostility Intervention Team hears about this.

New suburb trend: painting house completely black. Not sure if I approve. Maybe.

I’ve been binging Star Trek: Voyager and I must say I miss the days of 26 episode seasons.

A U.S. official confirms that U.S. forces have shot down some of the Iranian drones headed towards Israel.

No but really, we've been in WWIII for a long time. Honestly, WWII never ended.

It's great how calm everyone is staying.

My drafted?

I just hope none of this conflict overlaps with our scheduled Civil War later this year.

It's not REALLY WWIII until China invades Taiwan. Thank goodness that totally like for real won't happen and stuff.

Looks like the Islamic Middle East is not the monolith Iran may have been counting on.

Lotta people woke up this morning with no idea that later in the day they'd be allied with Iran.

So World War III is finally here. I always suspected I'd have a hand in it.