‘Mammy loves you all the stars in the sky’ is incorrect grammatically and I am sick of reading Instagram captions and pretending it’s not

i've had like 600 mg of caffeeine today which has given me the ability to read people's minds and they're all mad at me

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“I asked chatgpt” “I asked grok” bro I asked an ancient dragon who talks to me in riddles we're not the same

being a sensitive soul is not for the weak tell me why I’m crying because I forgot to top my bird feeder up and I just saw a crow come for some seeds and he couldn’t get any :( :( this is hell

Having the best birthday of my life. Jalapeño tequila and watermelon juice by the ocean. What a day.

Not even remotely my problem

tbh it’s v interesting to me (not really) that it is always extravagant bachelorette parties criticised and never your man’s long weekend in Prague that ever comes under fire

Aye, fuck off

I’ve seen some awful tweets on this hellscape and this is the one that might have pushed me over the edge what are you TALKING about

Tears won’t stop. The rarest of the rare—a melanistic bobcat, only the 12th ever seen in the wild… and it’s gone, taken by a gun. How can we call ourselves stewards of this earth when beauty like this is erased forever?

not even kidding when I say this is by far Stephen King’s bleakest most harrowing work a film adaptation sounds like genuine torture and I will be seated

It’s J-E-S-S, not J-E-E-E-E-S! Why can no one ever spell my bloody name right?!!!! Sadiq Khan you gotta fix this nonsense

welsh people who buy into the whole ‘no one in wales speaks Welsh’ thing are genuinely traitorous, England’s oppressive language ban wasn’t officially fully repealed until 1993, the damage that does to a vulnerable dialect is insurmountable you big thicko

the greatest opening to a musical in cinematic history and i’m being so serious

I am a horrible woman

the cost of this shop from 2001 is gonna get me hospitalised you expect me to be just fine knowing that olive oil used to cost £1.85!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

therapy is so humbling imagine having to explain to a grown man that the reason you’re more anxious this week is cause you’re scared of fireworks imagine that at this big age

this is my version of when people say their dogs favorite words to get them riled up

Had an out of body “WHO IS THIS DIVA!!!!” experience watching a local news segment about a 9 year old beekeeper. 🐝💅 (Neighbor complained, city demanded he nix the hives & threatened a warrant, but after 100s of letters he got to keep his girls!) Interview highlights: