My new job makes it really hard to work on my projects. I haven't written anything in a million years. WHO AM I

Me: I need a new idea for a book Brain: What if it's like Spider-man meets Rocky Me: Isn't that just Spider-man? Brain: Instead of a spider, he gets bit by a radioactive snake Me: Don't. Brain: Rocky Balboa Constrictor

What do you think is the most underrated movie of all time?

Tonight, my fiancée is making Danger Shrimp and we're going to see Weapons. The only thing my life is missing is $1 million

I almost died on my way to work because someone cut me off and then decided to immediately slam on their brakes. If you see phantom streetlights, please turn in your license and never leave the house again.

PAPERBACK GIVEAWAY I have about 15 copies of the initial edition author copies of The First Glimpse left. (name on top/ title on bottom - it's flipflopped) My birthday is coming up on Monday and I would like to do a signed giveaway. There are some other ppl I'd like to send a

Weapons had me cracking up in ways that the rest of the theater was not prepared for. Luckily, my fiancée was laughing beside me...and probably at me.

If you can see this, you should watch my weekly show. It's stupid and it's silly but it's free and it's mine

My experience with Weapons: 1. Pre-watching: I have no idea what this movie will be 2. First fifteen minutes: This better not be... 3. Later During: It is. Ugh. 4. Later Later During: Okay, this is hilarious. 4 stars. 5. Post-watching:

According to the hair I found growing on my ear, it's a full moon. I must be a werewolf because otherwise this is a sign that I'm getting old.

The movie Weapons is full of ridiculous nonsense and it's one of my favorite movies of the year.

She only needs to sell 10 more copies! If you buy a copy of her book and let me know, I will give you a free PDF of my first graphic novel!

I will vote for whoever will force movie theaters to list the actual movie start times so I can avoid the 30 minutes of ads.

If you don't like this movie, you probably don't like me.

When their dealer decides to try moving a new "product", two pothead best friends find themselves trapped in a house, surrounded by vampires. Coming This Fall: High Stakes

We're going on a Murder Mystery Train tonight and it's going to take everything in me to not pretend to be dead or act increasingly more suspicious with every murder