I have to come clean: I don’t know if it’s “zip zap zop” or “zip zap zup”

I’ve actually known some pretty funny men. Even though I don’t relate to what they’re talking about, I think it’s good to give them a chance.

When women tell women that men are dangerous they’re called misandrists, when men tell women that men are dangerous they’re called fathers.

I wonder how many names they thought of for the Eiffel Tower before they named it after the 3-way sex position

Talking about transgender people during your standup special is not mandatory actually

Riots not diets, ladies #InternationalWomensDay

I’m filling my home with these candles! Fats unite!

What does LAX stand for?

Excited to vote for Brandon Johnson tomorrow!

It's Election Day, Chicago!! Let's hit the polls and vote for Brandon Johnson for a Better, Stronger, Safer Chicago #BrandonIsBetter #GirlIGuess

I’m not religious but I do respect Jesus as a gay icon. HAPPY EASTER🐣💐🥚

The way y’all are roasting these submerged billionaires is exquisite! A.I. could never

The banging heard in the submersible

Empowered women empower women

The lady will have a beef fizz.

Why is he dressed like a stage manager? When I say “thank you, five” I don’t want any confusion on if I mean “minutes” or “feet tall”

men hate barbie margot but they sure loved mentally ill pigtails in an abusive relationship margot

All day I’ve been thinking, “did I have plans for August 8th? Is it someone’s birthday?”…. Oh right, today is DMB Doo Doo Day #ChicagoHistory #davematthewsband #Chicago blockclubchicago.org/2023/08/08/dav…

I know what I want for my birthday