Google homepage: The only news source I trust to keep me updated on all the important issues. With that being said, Happy Bday Lucille Ball!

What exactly is the difference between waking up and being punched in the face?

playing a softball in the rain...awesome!

Attention Spiders: The Ab-Flexer in my garage is an excellent location for a long-term web.

Last weekend before the start of school! #makeitcount

false alarm...don't start school till the 30th. What a relief!

Brewers game! Yahooooooo

I'd like to give a shout-out to my bladder. the packer game really tested it, but im still as dry as a piece of month old cornbread #success

The Brewers lost today and fell to 29-31. They never spent a day over .500. They set a slew of franchise records for offensive futility. And they are going to the postseason.

Dear First Take,

softball double-header tonight! the only thing that can get me outta bed on a monday...besides the smell of bacon of course

O.J. Mayo closing in on multiyear deal with Bucks (via Yahoo Sports)

Take a look at this fantastic leaping catch by @C_Gomez27 to rob a homer in the 7th: atmlb.com/1aLnD6s #Brewers

I either have the greatest, most addicting blood in the world, or I somehow pissed off every mosquito on the planet. #MOSQUITOPOCALYPSE

Tonight’s St. Louis Cardinals-Milwaukee Brewers game is the first in MLB history to both start AND end with back-to-back homers.

#redbox movie night with the people I refer to as my family

Why is it so hard to find people who have good moral values? It's sad how people actually act when they're not with you. #fakefriends

A guy just came in and rented our carpet cleaner so he could clean his carpet in his appartment where a dead body had been laying. #murderer

Doughnuts at work. #victory