I don't mean to eat a dead horse here, but these ikea instructions are hard, y'all.

SCENE: doctor loses patient, comes home, opens his mail. Sees the latest issue of Cat Fancy magazine. Giggles. CUT TO BLACK.

Sure, I'd love to go to Oz! What? The only mode of transportation is by tornado? Uh, I'll pass.

Subway's great if you like to shit out both ends.

But seriously, the television series VR Troopers was the best & most faithful Julius Caesar adaptation we've had so far.

Can someone recommend a good Starbucks in this Peet's Coffee?

"Main characters walk for a while, get in trouble, Gandalf appears and saves them. Repeat." -- The Hobbit

Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will KILL AGAIN! Nicholas Cage as Christ in "The Evil Dead." They never should have read the book.

Wrote the Olympus has Fallen sequel, "Unicorn is Down."

Oh, I'm sorry I'm holding up the line. Perhaps next time you'll hand me my bills face up with the corners folded out.

Just watched the Star Trek episode Space Seed. It was pretty great, but I guess you had to beam there...

"White House Down! White House Down! I repeat, Olympus has Fallen!"

Interesting that Pain & Gain is opening tonight. Don't the Oscar films usually open at the end of the year?

Did Dwayne Johnson get ripped from drinking iced mochas? I hope so, cause I just drank 5

People keep saying how sad they were when Pa Kent was sucked up by the tornado, but guys, he probably just went to Oz.

To Fight Monsters, We Created A Monster...ARMIE HAMMER.

Interesting casting choice to have Lindsay Lohan play the older Tonto in Lone Ranger

"Spill the beans!" - me, to baristas, every time. Without fail.

@justinlerner The Automatic Hate embarrassing on all accounts, but now remedied. I was so excited to write about it, I did so sloppily on phone

@justinlerner The Automatic Hate Check out Bron Anderson's review on WSB: whysoblu.com/mvfilmfest-rev…