Men in the day: “women ☕️” Men at night: “her 😔”

God and his angels in heaven creating the Doritos Locos Taco

(completely overwhelmed) will do!

This guy next to me is watching a compilation of memes with that Facebook squirrel laugh track. It’s been 10 minutes and he chuckles every time

I have to get this off my chest In the third grade I was beatbox battling this guy at the lunch table and I got absolutely demolished so instead of going to recess I hid in the woods behind the playground until class started because I was so devastated

Starbucks barista made a better London Fog latte than the tea shop with vintage sofas and warm colored walls (devastated)

Civil engineers in Oklahoma calculating how to keep traffic in your blind spot the entire way up every on ramp on i35

Wish I was the type of guy that knew what kind a tree is

When I was 13 I was so worried and talked about the Russian annexation of Crimea as it was happening so much that my parents took away my tablet so I couldn’t look at the news

Y’all ever wish you could take your brain out rinse it off and put it back?

wasnt as funny as shane gills said it would be

WHERE IS MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED

we used to be a proper country

20% ON THE EU, 34% ON CHINA, 46% ON VIETNAM, 24% ON JAPAN, 49% ON CAMBODIA, 25% ON SOUTH KOREA, 36% ON THAILAND, 47% ON MADAGASCAR, 38% ON GUYANA

When I use GPS to get home I’ll sometimes tell Siri “hey Siri….I’m going home” Like Dakota Johnson, except Siri knows where I live

Sometimes I have the urge to buy something just like anything so I go to the library and check out a book because it feels like I bought something but then after a while I’m like “wow I’ve saved so much money I should by myself something”