Spam emails used to be creative. A deposed prince needed my help to smuggle $500,000,000 overseas. Now it’s just “We can improve your website’s Google rank”

If you don’t have eclipse glasses you can still safely enjoy it by holding a coin in front of a lightbulb and pretending it’s the eclipse

If you bought eclipse glasses check to make sure they’re labeled “eclipse safety glasses” and not “eclipse eye burn glasses” which are designed to cause double the normal retina damage

Stopping to notice NYC’s earthquake is a very touristy thing to do. There’s earthquakes every day. Usually much stronger. They rebuild the Empire State Building several times a week

Okay it’s safe now

Be careful online today. This is the one day a year when people post false information on the internet

'Do you remember that social media site I always used to be on? I posted there all the time in the 2010s'

His mom laughed. 'It was such an odd game. You'd say 'I'm going on the Bird App' and then you'd take out an unpowered phone and stare at the dark screen for hours'

The JD in “JD Power and Associates” is Jim Davis. The “power” is there because he’s the most powerful cartoonist in America, and the associates are Garfield & friends. He’s the one that chooses which cars are good.

PSA: You don't need an invite anymore

Most Of A Boeing Plane Reaches The Destination. So Why Are Passengers Upset?

Balancing Flying And Crashing: Finding A Happy Medium

Boeing’s Bravery: Dispelling The Myth That Airplanes Need Doors

Website: Do you want us to sell your data? Yes/No

Annoyed they even have to ask, I click 'Yes' on the popup

Website: How nefarious do you want the secret entity buying your data to be?

Grumbling at the delay, I set the nefarious slider to 'maximum nefarious'

Frantically googling “How to perform Heimlich on self” and only getting AI generated stores selling “Is that the Heimlich Maneuver or are you happy to see me?” tshirts