Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile
Adam Muller

@adam_muller

Comedian. Co-host of UncommonTakes Podcast.

ID: 28784414

calendar_today04-04-2009 12:31:48

1,1K Tweet

7,7K Followers

7,7K Following

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I love the feeling after one drink. It’s like the world comes into focus. Like when I get new glasses with an updated prescription. The problem is after one point one drinks I can no longer see.

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The most effective protests disrupt the economy. Walking out of a commencement speech in front of a bunch of graduates who won’t get jobs doesn’t do much.

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I got food poisoning and it was terrible. Spent 2 days in the bathroom and lost 6 pounds. As soon as I felt better I went back to the same restaurant and ordered the same thing.

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I had a speech impediment as a kid. I couldn’t pronounce r’s. My parents got it fixed in case I wanted to be a pirate.

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

When I worked on Wall Street I was told not to put anything in an email I wouldn’t want on the front page of the Wall Street journal. So I ended every email with “The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!”

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Body shaming is mean, but also effective. I wish I could hire someone to show up once a week and tell me how gross I look

Adam Muller (@adam_muller) 's Twitter Profile Photo

People enjoy going to standup comedy shows on New Year’s because at the end of the night they’re hoping that the last punch line is that this past year was just a joke.