Have a prince-regent joke and it rules

We’ve got a great line-up tonight folks. Eric Trump, Benedict Arnold’s ghost, one of those tiki khaki Charlottesville guys, Ghislaine Maxwell, the dude who got caned for farting in Singapore in the 90s, the gum disease GINGIVITIS, baron trump, the red baron, a Red Baron pizza

Parenting has turned me into an ancient and moody god. You unplug your clock, now nap persists until n

Celebrating my Twitter anniversary with a tweet just for me!

I endeavor to be the roommate in Terminator: absorbed by music she is into

What nice sneakers for $200 that are definitely new and not old and retrieved from a power line or dumpster and they smell good

Looks like HBO Max lost its intern

I have the following notes for Primal. It’s a rip-roaring caveman. Who rides a dinosaur and they are friends. No notes

x.com/_figensezgin/s…

Can we dispense with the charade of driving on the wrong side of the road?

foxla.com/news/these-are… But surely we can afford to live in Irvine. No? Well thank goodness we still have Dubl..

My @Lyft driver delighted me with Julius rontgen this fine October nyc morning. Thank you! youtu.be/QiWYplIheWE WQXR Classical

Since Twitter is so cool now: Bullet Train is good. It is stylish and pointless and everything we crave

I made a very good drink for a friend’s party. Essentially a vodka gimlet with Pernod and cucumbers chopped up in the carafe. DM me for what I now consider the recipe

Water slides are ok for adults. Some adults

Email tugs the shirt sleeve of your audience. What have you got to say right now? Better be good

“And then the algorithm” is the modern fairy tale of product

When was the last time you listened to Axel F. Not so fast, literally everyone

Sonos sucks and is so overrated it shames me to own their passable speakers and a digital experience that makes “a music gulag” sound like well at least it consistently plays music. Come at me you jokers Sonos