“Foghorn” is a beautiful name for a boy

*John Lennon voice* Imagine there’s no dragons

*John Lennon voice* Imagine there’s no dragons

I hope this email finds you-

Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close

I was searching for how to hit a deer and survive but now my history makes it look like I'm hunting deer with my car

*me, 4 minutes after someone thoroughly explains something to me* wait

Terrible news, everyone.

take a deep breath??? in this economy????!!

something something Brittney Griner

gonna tell my kids this was a heavy metal CD

shocking that the presence of hundreds of armed state police did not deescalate the situation!

I’m so short that I’ve never broken a phone from dropping it

Ghoulish shit right here. HOUSE EVERYBODY. (Looking at you, Baltimore…)

stop normalizing the grind and normalize whatever this is—

John Waters is rumored to be pregnant, expecting a baby with Timothée Chalamet.

A piece of bread’s

the people’s princess

They should invent a grass on the other side that isn’t always greener

I just choked on my own spit during my 8:00 am lecture and it was so dramatic I excused the class