"I can't do that but, I've been told not to use alcohol as an excuse." - A. Branesample (just now)

I remember MY first beer!

I've been looking for this ........ Dear Flatties, youtu.be/S7P5Nt7iP54?si…

Am I the only one who has considered dying with just the dogs and how you'd try to navigate that? Like, I've established pre-death goals to accomplish on behalf of my dogs. Anyone else? Ever? Just me? ;)

"The thing is- when you're famous- they LET you do it."

The punchline is, "Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"

youtu.be/NnN_Oz1U0RE?si…

Beware of the bro who wears a cup to the sports bar "after the big game".

The last time Trump beat a man in any kind of election, it was the Republican primary in 2016. But, "Racism and misogyny have nothing to do with how America votes." I know I'll get over it but, I've never hated so many people before. It's unsettling.

Sometimes. Maybe. It takes re-electing a fascist to accomplish... Nevermind. I threw up in my brane.

Who crys more ?

Coming soon…

Coming soon: the Leopards Ate My Face Party

Worth pointing out that conservatives actually disagree with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 10-14, and they disagree with the solutions for all the others.

Could you guys ask around for a doctor who's willing to induce a 4 year coma for me? I'd love you for that!

Additional #FF Gratitude #thebest Bob Wood @DLgodlessbitch Mary Rose 🌹 Catarina Thestrup arctichamster 🐼😎🐒 Irinn Ms.hella Rabbi Shlomo (but please call me Benny) Rev N. Fidel Artimus 'The Cramped' Branesample, sti 🇺🇲🇺🇦 Chrisanthrope the Nullifidian @atheist_bad 🇮🇪 Stiofán Ó Firghil F.C.D🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 #TY

I'm not chasing the rats off the ship. I'm lighting the anchor lines on fire. #FKM

I got a new tree. I gave it a theme song that's holy ;) inappropriate.