Asked for a kids menu, joined a cult. #family #cults #RVA #dadlife

Summer is relentless, alternating text alerts that the youngest had another daycare accident while the older kids deplete my account at the pool snack shack 2 Drumsticks at a time. #SOS #dadlife #summertime

I think Ryan Reynolds might appreciate the book cover from my fever dream #HappyLaborDayWeekend post.

*Non-Partisan Voting Post!* Vote for whomever Tuesday. Just vote. And be sure to rock that vote — scratch that — YACHT ROCK that vote! Make it a party. Rock some flip-flops. Play some Doobie brothers. #Vote2024 #Election2024 #YachtRock

It can be tough to get started with a #CreativeAgency. I'm making it easier. Tell me where you need some extra juice — whether it's your #Brand, #Messaging or upcoming #MarketingCampaign — and I'll deliver a right-sized download. Let's get started: bit.ly/3O37S2c

As the corporate news machine founders, time for my idea: T'aint News - with "down-the-middle coverage." Hire staff from the spectrum of political views, write multiple versions of stories, tag writers w/ their views & voting record, highlight common ground. #NewsMedia #MSNBC

Safe travels this #TurkeyDay! #GobbleGobble

"This is my last trip to the store" before #Thanksgiving > "This is my last beer" during tailgate > "This is my last hand" during blackjack losing streak

Our #elfontheshelf squad lost Diggs in an offseason acquisition. Honestly, he always wanted to hold the candy cane. We got Keon “The Coalman” Coleman from the North Pole Portal & he’s been a stud — doing all the dirty work — even when off the shelf for a bit. #BillsMafia

Congrats to Richardquest — apparently the first person to publicly pay the price for losing a #FantasyFootball league in 2025. #cnn #NYE2024 CNN

Just spitballin', but here's the #TikTok alternative we all need: EFiGE. All videos are 5 min. 57 sec. & recorded to "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Damn I'm old...

TIME TO DROP THE HAMMER. #billsmafia #gobills

#GoBills #BillsMafia #RIPPitBull

My folks were lifelong Hilton Honors fans. It's in my siblings' DNA — always picking Hilton Hotels. But when u accuse her — a 100% non-smoker — of smoking at Embassy Suites PGA & charging her a ton, the passion for your brand turns to vitriol. Be decent, please. Who can help? #Hilton

Ughm. I know Virginia outlawed some *adult sites* but this was unexpected…

My wife is too nice. I don't want to be mean, so let the disaster of switching from Verizon to T-Mobile be a cautionary tale. 2 store visits & ~7 hrs. on phone — all 4 devices finally working. Won't honor rate they quoted (reason we switched) & 0 gift cards (promised). #Regret

I started a Substack: #ThursdayColumn, harkening back to my days as a sophomoric college newspaper columnist. Appreciate any reads, shares or even subscribes. Thanks & cheers! A Red-Hot Midsummer American Fever Dream open.substack.com/pub/thursdayco…

'Thursday Column' Substack #2 is out: Father-son bonding, a return to church & bad decisions in hairstyles. Thanks for reading + subscribing! Cheers!! thursdaycolumn.substack.com/p/father-son-h… #Family #Faith #Religion #DadLife

My latest Substack column: open.substack.com/pub/thursdayco…

This. Is. My. Life. thursdaycolumn.substack.com/p/will-ai-writ… #AI #RobotApocalypse #rva #writerslife