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I wonder what will be delayed longer - Sue Gray's report, or me being able to come up with an amusing tweet re: Sue Gray's report.

More like 'Sue Grave' (because when the report is released I will have sadly passed) And you lot doubted me.

What happens if you clear out so much dead wood that you no longer even have a forest? And where will all the woodlice live #Arsenal

The Grail

O.M.G!!!

8 years ago me and some pals tried to go curling in Tunbridge Wells - only when we got there they'd had to close the rink cos all the ice had melted. Silly little sport. Fuck off.

Choose your fighter #bbcqt

A watched tweet never bangs

Marilyn looking at her official Nintendo sticker album #mario #retrogames

Why is it so hard to find a clothes airer online that I'm confident will fit in my bath? Is it because I have no interest in measuring anything? Why won't the internet just tell me which one to buy? This is my first tweet in 11 days.

People that have had Covid (specifically Omicron), tell me about fatigue please? I tested positive on Tuesday and have been feeling exhausted since. I have very mild symptoms otherwise but am really struggling to do much of anything. Any similar experiences out there?

Amazing casting to have a young Kenneth Branagh play the Swedish skip in this curling final

We'll celebrate the fucking SHIT out of that thanks very much and goodnight.