#nagamunchetty on #bbcbreakfast makes me turn off the TV, she's rude to guests, smug, self important and snide to her colleagues, cannot stand the woman

😭

You know you're a mum when you reach into your jeans pocket in the pub for some change, and find a snot encrusted wet wipe, a tiny hairband, and half a powdered digestive...

Aah,the time o year when adverse weather in the south bring the northerners out in their full southerner bashing glory.Listen,we dont want 2 live oop North,u dont want 2 live daahn saaf,only diff is we dont have a chip on our shoulders or have constant pops at u,Get over it #yawn

First morning cleaning one small bank of #BeverleyBrook at source at #Cuddington with my new @SE_Rivers_Trust kit. Not sure about the 3 rusting wheel barrows? Sutton Council ?

Madonna is flatter than her geriatric spaniels ears tits #myearsarebleeding #needmorerum #eurovision

I'm in the successful group, wohoooooo #Glastonbury2020 #BringItOn

When you have an itchy boob all day then find a popcorn kernel down your bra. I haven't even eaten any popcorn today... 🤔

Friday 13th tomorrow. Friday the 13th in 2020, what could possibly go wrong... I'm staying in bed!

Christ, just realised that was my first tweet in over a year. Well that went bloody quick!

Trees up #hobloodyho

Ho ho meow 🎅😾😂

Love coming home to this! 😁 #ChristmasIsComing #ChristmasCountdown #loveit

Carefully placed paw and a purr in the ear. Cat speak for i love u my hooman ♥

Fucking scum x.com/MetroUK/status…

God bless bloody uber hic. Power nap poor moi methibks hic

When youre too pissed to snooze. Hash tag fail

Banging night at Brixton academy

Gotta love a good laser #wilkinson #brixtonacademy #drumandbass

Funniest thing I've seen on t'internet in ages 😂🤣