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I’ve been listening to Ribs for ten years and it hasn’t cured me yet but I will keep trying

daily affirmations 1. i am goated 2. i can post on instagram it's okay 3. no one is out to get me

when are they going to invent a microwave you can put metal in

rachael kirkconnells call her daddy episode has fully radicalized me

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josh allen giggling and kicking his feet rn

we are like six weeks away from being able to sit in a public park and tan in a chair at a table whilst reading a book

can you imagine how stressful it’d be if the people on severance wore different outfits to work every day

justin bieber you would love Pushing it Down and Praying

i’m so relieved we got those astronauts home that was stressing me out every day

listening to hozier in 2016 was like you had to fucking be there

you know when you can tell your uber drivers hearts just not in it like sir we need to be playing offense cut off the bicyclist

trying to reconnect with nature (not playing on my phone the entire time i’m waiting at the airport)

i know it’s 7:30am but she’s batshit insane for fresh out the slammer

would you rather have boygenius back together or your parents

why are the men who chase you down after leaving whole foods to ask you for your number never sexy

did it hurt? when i told you to google it and i was right

unfortunately have come to the conclusion that my purpose in life is to have lore and not a husband

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette

unfortunately my favorite life hack is that you can do everything you want in one day as long as you stay up til 3am