tooele

easily one of my top 3 new york moments was when i was at a bodega and this dude was buying the dick pills and all of the guys working started clowning on him and literally everyone in the store all laughed at him

hate to break it to yall but this is my coffee shop and my coworker just straight up lied about this

the kwisatz haderach

it’s not that i need to see the b-52s live, i need to travel back and time and party with them all at the gay bar rock lobster is about

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

nothing worse than when someone casualy sends you a tweet they think is funny and you desperately want to mention that the person who tweeted it wrote 2 episodes of a b tier tv show and then got cancelled cause of a podcast but you can’t reasonably explain how you know all that

78 degrees in april has me fiending for this

new york is a small town when you can only go to 3 neighborhoods because you have to avoid your Enemies

neither dogs nor children should be allowed in bars

if there’s one thing yorgos loves it’s people doing an bizarre dance

i love living in new york because i just got keys copied and bought a preroll and got the best chicken parm panini i’ve had in years all from the same place

the only dr in network for my insurance

he’s using the bene gesserit voice here

to all of my friends and oomfs that work in television: how? and secondly, pls hire me.

if you read this book as a child….you are a dyke now

roommate left me home alone for 3 weeks and i start researching how to convert to catholicism