officially rejected from grad school!!🥳🍾

apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been experiencing is actually “psychosis”

gender is a performance and I’m getting booed off stage

some people develop hobbies after breakups. I develop problems

DIVA DOWN

it’d be really easy for me to be sober if I didnt love being drunk

mango lassi save me

I told my mom we had an earthquake and she said “perfect time to tell your ex you love them”

not my boss bringing up my recent search history of “why can’t I stop crying” on my work computer💀

thought jesus passed peacefully in his sleep surrounded by loved ones maybe i was reading a different version

“how’s no contact going” i cry everyday 🤗

dating for marriage? be so fr you probably already fumbled your soulmate. you should be dating for fun and twitter content at this point

why did no one tell me about sports betting earlier it's like going to dave and busters on your phone everyday

I didn’t think aging would happen to me, specifically

institutions at every level of society are failing, my optimism has all but eroded but pussy still feel good and that’s enough for me to keep trying

while you were busy moving in silence i was busy shitting my pants

Chicago is awesome cause there will be some improv show where everyone takes a gas station Boner pill then does long form and nobody is in the audience and it’s the greatest comedy show of all time

Happy Valentine's Day! ❤️

Gone Girl (2014) dir. David Fincher