My hobby is tricking spam-texters into dueting with me on Total Eclipse of the Heart

A flagel is just a bialy that’s assimilated

I love that Kristi Noem's entire defense is just naming other animals she killed. In two days, she's going to be like 'Listen, I invented the penguin-guillotine and I'm goddamn proud of it.'

It would be a shame if this whole “dog murder” thing keeps Kristi Noem from getting the VP nod because she already picked out her outfit for the Republican National Convention:

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff.

Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.

nytimes.com/2024/04/25/bus…

“Fucking Magnetic Resonance Imaging, how does it work?”
-The other ICP at 50

Saw this tweet on my phone from far away and realized Gary Oldman could act the hell out of an RBG biopic