interviewer: so tell me about yourself

me: im not even gonna dignify that with a response

Babe, put your boobs away. Another settlement needs MY help

Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it's transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.

All electric vehicles should look like this and have tactile shift sticks, buttons and knobs. No more touch screens!

Yeah dude I like…. Really gotta drink some water

*makes a gin and tonic*

I don’t deserve to see the northern lights

How Twitter feels rn

Communism save me... save me communism..

Hello. Is it me you're looking for ?

I'm making a very large, very complex map of every plant in my half acre sized yard. What's the best way to label all of these items ?

Hello. Is it me you're looking for ?

Communism save me... save me communism..

Stop scrolling for just a minute. 👇🏻🐝

if dirty fruit kills me i wasn’t meant to survive

this is who you’re asking to work 40 hours a week btw

Disliking me is a character flaw

They played ‘Halftime’ in court today, Thug looking at his lawyer like “you hear this flow?”😂😂

Unceremoniously leaving all my gcs nothing personal

I survived Texas Eclipse AND Sol Fest 2024 AMA