Kristi Noem shot her puppy like a dog! Then she shot her goat like a dog, too!

Many people are saying that Nasty Lauren Mayer has made the best song about a politician shooting a dog since 'Jeremy is Innocent' by Rex Barker and the Ricochets! Google it! youtu.be/yRT6Za0n-8k?si…

Many people are saying Linda Yaccarino and Elon Musk have turned Twitter into the world's biggest porn app and can't attract advertisers. Ridiculous! Every time I tweet about fucking porn stars I see very 'high-quality' ads!!

AN ABORTION PILL WILL NOT BE ILLEGAL IF JASON MILLER SLIPS IT INTO THE SMOOTHIE OF A WOMAN HE HAS IMPREGNATED!

It's so unfortunate that Rudy was disbarred! He's still dispensing such incredible legal advice!!

MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING THAT MUSHROOM MAKES A GREAT SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL MEAT!

Sleepy. Weak. Smelly. Low-energy.

Nobody earns more nicknames than me before 10:30 in the morning! mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/d…

But a porn star.

I am delighted to be able to attend Baron's graduation, especially as I missed so many other milestones in his life due to the fact I was furniture shopping with a friend's wife, fucking a porn star, or cruising the Bergdorf Goodman lingerie department.

Now that I can no longer conspire with the National Enquirer, I have entered into a new arrangement with Fox News to smear my rivals. Powerful!

Many people are telling me why choose Lauren Boebert or Marjorie Taylor Greene 🇺🇸 as my VP when I can get a twofer by picking Governor Kristi Noem!

People say she's a real killer!

If Stormy Daniels wasn't my daughter, maybe I would be dating her.

IT'S NOT A CRIME IF YOU DO IT IN BETWEEN MEETINGS WITH RUSSIAN SPIES AND CHINESE TRADEMARK OFFICIALS!

With puppy-killer Kristi Noem off my VP list, many people are saying a Trump and DeSantis ticket could be a game-changer! Especially if Ron can hook me with up with some of the kinky Moms for Liberty he’s been hanging out with. #Threesomes

Thank you, Brave #GymJordan ! No one has done more to look the other way when your buddies are committing crimes against the students in your care or the Constitution you hate so much!

KRISTI NOEM COULD SHOOT A DOG IN THE MIDDLE OF FIFTH AVENUE AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR A QUICKIE WITH COREY LEWANDOSKI AT THE TRUMP INTERNATIONAL HOTEL BEFORE RETURNING HOME TO HER MARITAL BED!