“He did kick me up the arse!”

“I want to shower you with sugar lumps, and ride you over fences.

“Polish your hooves every single day, and bring you to the horse dentist.'

'How much did you pay for the door, Ted?'

'I don't know, it came with the house.'

“Maybe I like the misery.”

'Clit Power. What does that mean? I knew a Father CLINT Power, maybe she's having a go at him...'

'Ted? I'm going mad.'

“Second best…”

'He's dead, Ted. We'll never see him again.'

'We'll see him in the next world.'

'Oh yeah, sure...'

“So, there he is. Risen from the dead. Like that fella...E.T.”

'Ha, those Protestants, up to no good as usual.'

“God, I wouldn’t have thought he’d have been interested in that type of thing.”

“Ah yeah, well, ya think ya know someone.”

🥹

'I hear you're a racist now, Father.'

“What the hell was it about anyway?”

“Well, it was…”

“Ah, jaysis.”

“This is much more fun than killing yourself isn’t it, Kevin?”

'If the milkman calls, the money's under the statue of our Lord being embarrassed by the Romans.'

“You're not up to your old tricks again, are you Tom?”

'Ted said you were dying.”

'Dying? Aw no. I don't think so anyway.'

'One day, you and I, we're gonna be in that new parish of yours sipping iced tea on the lawn, and this will all be just a memory.'