Chotiner: so last night you posted “real pooh bear hours,” implying you were watching winnie the pooh. but based on your internet activity it seems you were on your phone for most of it me: well, it was on in the background C: and that’s “real pooh bear hours” to you me: in a way

“why is everyone so obsessed with the nyc mayoral election?” idk aren’t you busy driving 45 min to that brewery slash wine bar slash burger joint slash cornhole place you love?

Just overheard a guy at the zoo say “that’s not a real giraffe”… what else would it be

If I was there when they invented paint I'd probably treat it like people treat AI. Like get this slop off my cave wall. We could have eaten those berries.

I’m just an American citizen who is tired of living under Zionist occupation and would like the NYPD to not have a Tel Aviv office that tells Americans living in New York City what they can and cannot say. Apparently this is too much to ask

mom can you pick me up? the pitchfork commenters are calling me chopped again

my entire awareness of Harper’s Magazine owes to that embarrassing open letter and their insistence on not paying interns. like if the Saturday Evening Post had an inexplicably evil aura

all of these guys were pretty good

5 foot 11 Guys for Zohran

proud to organize with Freelance Solidarity Project in solidarity with embattled workers across the media space: api.omarshehata.me/substack-proxy…

can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s. it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.

Never ask: - A woman her age - A man his salary - Someone who wants to expand NYCHA why the parking lots are full of 2022 model year luxury crossovers

I don’t ever want to hear anything about “vote blue no matter who” ever again after what all this corporate centrist trash just did last night.

zohran gonna bring back the fourth p4k review. please my family is dying

I really enjoy this new genre of tweet where someone who is like the mayor of Klansville in Fent County goes "if any of you New Yorkers think you can just move into the haunted old asbestos factory, know that we practice ritual incest and don't have matcha or pronouns here 😂"

Did you know not a single NBA player got COVID last season according to the NBA?

there's a tendency (inculcated by this very website, no doubt) to ascribe this stuff to broader forces: if not *soulfarming app* you would've just wasted your time on *other soulfarming app*. maybe, but what if it's the soulfarming apps

wild to think about how new york almost elected a chronic sexual harasser because too many people are too scared of justice for palestinians