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jeff said every xmas growing up was like that #Lexus santa letter commercial except it ended with his dad putting the letter in a paper shredder (his real dad not his step dad) #Christmas

chico says his dream job would be the guy who had to teach all the nerds at amazon about football #TNF

playing free show tonite at tyler shlitzenheisers following battle of pa!!! #eagles #steelers maybe like twenty songs mostly covers though because we dont play originals at free shows

tyler just nixed it. #lame he says his mom n dad both work tomorrow and made us promise not to bring our gear to #steelers #eagles Your loss guys. we may even have slipped in an original or two. hit up tyler if u think this is bullshit

the nfl didnt exactly do the #Steelers any favors by making them play one game in eleven days

were convinced we havent made it big because our equipment is ass. jeffs guitar was made in korea. not slamming korea, but i cant think of a single korean guitarist. and the check engine light is always on in ralphs kia, so they may not know anything about music or manufacturing

the only solution is to convince cheezys step mom to do only fans to pay for new gear. not sure we should tell cheezy yet #milf #milfass

turns out she already has an only fans and its fucking amazing. but now ralph has carpal tunnel for some reason and we cant rehearse for 2 weeks #milf #milfass

chico is bringing elijah & a dozen eggs to danny potnicks party tonite cause he says chicks love whiskey sours and u cant make em without egg whites. I already know theres going to be a long ass line tomorrow at the plank med express and nobody is getting laid tonite #Salmonella

cheezys step mom says her only fans subscriptions are through the roof since we mentioned it, and were greatful to u guys but we cant help but notice none of u are following us. and our shits free #milfs #CheezysStepmom #MilfAss

chicos dad is all paranoid about #MicroDrones all of a sudden. tiny insect sized drones that can "video your naked ass". anyway hes not letting us use their patio anymore because our "shitty devil music" attracts them. maybe time for the nut house? his step dad not his real dad

we were ronnie van zant snobs and only listened to the first five #LynyrdSkynyrd albums. but jeff made us listen to 1991 and we were blown away. ronnie will always be number 1 in our hearts but we got a lot of "new" skynyrd to listen to

btw johnny van zant and ann wilson should do a duet

sorry, but one last #lynyrdskynyrd tweet. the one dude really survived the plane crash just to die of pneumonia a few years later? they could have at least jammed some coke up his ass and called it an overdose

jeffrey hossenfeffer says hes the "short n curlies" biggest stan. we know hes trolling us but anybody who says "stan" needs to be punched in the fucking balls

ralph had to stay after mass and help father chalmer clean the showers in the rectory. he was acting pretty strange and looked like he had been crying so we assume he felt bad about being late for rehersal

#GayleKing calling herself an astronaut after her ride to space is like chico's dad calling himself a doctor because he was in the room during the delivery. (his real dad not his step dad)

ralphs dad popped in a cassette of reo speedwagon for us to listen to and now we all feel bad for ralph because his dad is gay #YachtRock

Someone saw aaron rogers putting a lawn chair out by the curb in southside #steelers

Randy Rhodes was a true guitar hero. Didnt know his mom was an alcoholic, but it only makes us more impressed