Never understood that Tim McGraw song “Live Like You Were Dinin’” like does the dude just like eating food in extreme situations?

9 out of 10 doctors recommend sleep. It would’ve been 10 out of 10, but the tenth doctor was asleep.

Probably because he was having sex with other dudes

Revenge Arc coming soon

Excuse me , ma’am, but I was just wondering if yo pussy do the dog?

When 21 Savage said fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah-fah, I felt that.

I’ve never seen my dad and Don Frye in the same room.

Inflation wouldn’t be so bad if we used balloons as currency.

Back in my high school sports days I was always the glue guy of the team. I wasn’t the most athletically gifted, but you could always count on me to be in a corner somewhere huffing glue.

Try that in a ball gown

I’m a virtuous sex addict I wanna have sex all the time but don’t I’m so virtuous look at me.

Bout to mow pls prey fuh me🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🚫🧢

In a ground breaking move, ESPN has reached out to inform me I have preemptively been fired before I’ve ever even remotely considered employment. I for one applaud their bravery and proactivity.

For this month only I am gay.

Me: *standing on ladder

Other guy: Hey, nice new boots

Me: Thanks

Other guy: Oh, I thought you were someone else

Me: I am

Relics from a time forgotten

No offense to Wembanyama, but I’d love to know how many times there’s been a “most anticipated prospect since Lebron”. I feel like that gets thrown around so much.

I enjoy the simple things in life. Like crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women.

I’m just a man of flesh and blood. No skeletal or muscular structure. Just a big sack of flesh filled with blood.